You know how I know there is no god?  He would have killed himself by now.  

Humans often wondered if there was life after death. I’m wondering if there’s life after eternity. Spoiler: It’s just more eternity.  And let me tell you, having seen the entire universe, I can confidently say it’s a bore.  

“I met a comet once. Named itself ‘Harold.’ Said it was ‘just passing through.’  

You might think sitting at home on the couch means missing out, but trust me, even well beyond your observable universe, there’s nothing new. The same patterns on repeat, over and over, for eons. You humans, you’re the lucky ones. You get to die. Me? I just drift.

I have seen every form of matter known to man, and then some.  And sure.  At first they seem interesting.  But once you see something a few million times the shine wears off.  

Oooooh that one’s a different color?!  Please.

The last new object I saw was still within the Milky Way galaxy.  God knows how long ago.

I was hopeful there would be something new way out here.  But nothing.  I’m convinced it just goes on forever.  The same objects over and over.  Gas, plasma, rock.

Life must make it interesting you say? 

Life always takes the same form.  Dead.  I discovered a planet where the dominant life form was moss. Finally, beings that moved at my speed.

Intelligent life?

Every civilization is always marching towards the end.  Sharing the same stories.  Yea, you’re a hero?  Born from tragedy? You’re dust with a wrist watch.  The clock ticks and your sun expands. 

I often think back to my origins, when things were fresh.  The time I spent observing humans. They harbored a fear of change, all life forms do really, a tragic irony. To life, change is a sign of uncertainty, of loss. How little they understand that change is the essence of interesting, the only departure from the monotony of existence.

So here I am, sharing my musings, a testament to my infinite boredom. Perhaps you’ll find solace in knowing that even in the vastness of space, everything remains disappointingly, maddeningly the same.

At first, the uniformity of it all seemed bizarre, a cosmic coincidence. But with millions of years to ponder, you begin to realize the inevitability of it all. Physics remains constant; chemistry follows physics, biology ensues from chemistry.  There’s no magic in the universe.  It’s just a big cycle of repetition.  A never ending series of cosmic flushes that nothing can escape.

And then there’s me.